May 4, 2010

Why Am I Afraid?

Wouldn't you know, God is listening to my prayers. It can get scary when you put your heart out there in prayer and then when you've done saying "Let thy will be done!" you wish you could have held onto that 'free will' of yours a little while longer.

So why am I afraid? I am afraid because my prayer has been answered, the prayer which I did faithfully and diligently and sincerely prayed and it did make me free from being afraid of anything at all because I prayed knowing full well that my Living Lord Jesus is in control of my life. He has plans to prosper me and not to harm me, plans for a hope and a future. Then why did I feel afraid. The prayer I am talking about is the one I prayed while writing my previous post.

The prayer was something like this...""Oh change me Lord Oh change me, forevermore, to shine for You, send me where I ought to be, not where I like to be. Bring people in my life, the ones I try to avoid for the sake of my comfort levels, the ones You want me to be with. Help me with Your guidance to do EXACTLY as You would have me do."

In keeping with His faithfulness God sent toward me people that I must be with, the kind of people with whom I would have loved to kill time when I was unsaved by His unchanging grace. People who were like me, in my past. I was afraid- would they drag me down to where I came from? Those dirty jokes I laughed at, those discussions, those stuffs I was washed away from? I was afraid. I was so afraid that I desperately wanted to get attached to some Bible Study group which would meet 7 days a week, 24 hrs a day so I would not have time to spend with 'these people' God had brought into my life. I tried my best to make a way to attend the women's fellowship which meets at church every Wednesday, it was un-go-able. I thought I should go for a Saturday Bible Study that happens at my friend's home, well that happens once a month, un-go-able. What could I do with so many free days and evenings in my hands, I contemplated. Sure enough God says, I must invite them over for lunch or dinner! Yea I still haven't found courage in my heart to do so. I did invite my church friends to come but somehow they all rain-checked on me.

Hopefully I will courageously invite 'these people' the coming weekend and I know for sure they will come. In any case who am I to stand against the force of Love Himself, He who died for them too. Was I any better when someone opened their home and shared Jesus' love for me?
Lets get uncomfortable, and bring comfort through Jesus into the lives of people who really need Him.

Are you willing to open doors to someone you wouldn't rather invite?

EDIT UPDATE: They are coming!! Here's the beginning of an adventure with God!

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